You're So Vain
by mcflyPARtYGiRL
Summary: You were always so sure of yourself   Hmm, not sure about the rating. Might make it M for later chapters?
1. Chapter 1

You were always so sure of yourself; strutting around as if you were the only one who mattered, as if you were the best thing that had ever happened. You acted as if you knew everything that there was to know. I'd sit there and watch you try to make yourself the centre of attention. The way you'd make those smart arse remarks, they made me want to slap your face. But I never did. There was only one reason for making myself sit there through it all.

Some days I would love you to bits. I could feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered. We'd laugh and joke and have a good time. I'd be smiling.

Other days I hated you to no end. You would put me down. I'd feel so degraded and upset that I'd just want to run away or die. My heart would break. I'd be crying.

But that is all just a brief summary of what you are and what you do to me. Tonight you will never be the same. Tonight I will make you fall to your knees. You will be so unprepared and it's gonna hit you so.. damn.. hard. You won't know what to do. And all I'm gonna do is laugh.

Tonight you are going down Harry Judd.


	2. Chapter 2

And yet again we play the last song of the show. The crowd is going crazy. I fall onto my drums and breathe deeply. Tom and Danny are thanking the crowd and each other. Then you start to speak. I hear my name and look up. You're pointing to me. I decided to listen to what you're saying.

"...Give it up for Harry!" you scream. The crowd goes wild with applause and I smile widely. Yes, the fans really do adore me. Then you place your bass down and walk in my direction. People say I'm 'obsessed' with you but I _know_ it's the other way around.

The look on your face is a bit disturbing. You have this evil grin on your lips and your eyes are gleaming with...Well, I'm not sure what it is. Then you step up onto my platform and before I know what's happening you kiss me. None of that muck around shit you always play. Your lips are on mine. I'm shocked. I don't know exactly what's happening. You lick my bottom lip, and then give it a swift bite. It hurts. You pull away...And laugh. The sound replays over and over again. That sound is louder than the crowd. And before I know it you're running off the stage and I'm sitting in complete shock.

You just kissed me Dougie Poynter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Dougie's POV**

The look on your face when you walk through the door of the dressing room is priceless. I can't help but laugh. Your eyes are pretty much bulging from your head, your lips pursed into an angry pout. You're flinging your arms about as you express how inappropriate that kiss was. Everybody else thinks that it's amusing. Maybe you should loosen up and have a laugh. Instead you're going to sit in the corner and sulk. Now, from my experience when you get angry you don't forgive that easily. So after a while of joking at your expense I decided to see just how tender this situation is.

"Hey, it was just a joke," I say as I sit next to you.

"A joke? Dougie that was not a joke!" you scream. I've never seen you this mad before and to be honest it's scaring me. "We both have girlfriends! And did you think about what this stupid joke could do if the press get wind of it? If you got any more stupid you wouldn't know how to count!" then you storm off. I'm hurt. I'm really, really hurt. Why would you say something like that? Why would you call me stupid? And the anger in your eyes was so intense.

* * *

**Harry's POV**

"If you got any more stupid you wouldn't know how to count!" I scream before storming out the door. I'm so damn angry! Why the fuck would you decided to just kiss me? On stage! In front of all those people! Stupid little twat! If you dare pull a move like that again you will end up with a broken face because I won't stop from hitting you full force! I don't know where I'm going and I don't really care at the moment. I walked around for a bit but ended up on the tour bus. I sit down and angrily slam my fist on the wall. Then I drop my head into my hands.

I take it all back. You are not stupid. You could never be stupid. Why would I ever say that to you? Even when I'm angry...It's just not acceptable. I can't believe what I've done. The look on your face as I stormed off...God, that's all I can see! You're eyes were so sad, bitting you bottom lip as it started to tremble. I can only imagine that you are crying because of what I've said. I need to find you and apologise.

But as I step off the bus I'm slammed against its side and come face to face with a very angry looking Danny.

"How dare you upset Dougie like that!" he yells in my face.

"Dan! Cut it out!" Tom growls as he pulls Danny away.

"Did you not see how upset Dougie is? _He_ needs to be told off!" Danny says angrily to Tom as he points to me.

"I know but there are better ways," Tom says, trying to calm Danny down. I take this as an opportunity to go and find you and run back inside the building.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dougie's POV**

Tom and Danny tried to tell me that I wasn't stupid but I somehow can't bring myself to believe them. Everybody tried to comfort me but it was useless. I kept crying and I still am crying. I feel a little better because I've shut myself in a cleaning closet and its pitch black so nobody can see me and my stupidity. I think everybody has given up on comforting me because it's gone really quiet outside. But I did hear Danny say something about going to give you a serve. I wonder if he just talked to you, or if he yelled? Maybe there was a punch thrown? But I won't find out because I'm not leaving the confines of this closet, ever. I'm going to sit in the darkness until I'm an old man. I'm going to be covered in dust bunnies and be so pale that a sheet of paper will be darker than me. That way I won't ever have to face you or anybody else again. At least nobody will ever see someone so stupid.

"Dougie?" you say as you gently knock on the door. I let out another sob before I can even answer.

"Go away," I manage, but it's feeble, and you won't go away.

"Can you please come out so we can talk?" you ask.

"No," I say. Because, as I said before, I'm staying in here until I'm an old man.

"Ok, can I come in then?" you say.

"No," I answer. I hear you let out a sigh. Next thing I know you've shoulder barged the door open. Though, it's not a surprise that you could because you are so strong and the fact that the lock was just about ready to fall off anyway.

* * *

**Harry's POV**

I pat around the wall until I find the light switch and then flick it on. My heart instantly breaks when I see the tears rolling down your cheeks. I know how badly I've hurt you. I wish I could rewind and make things better. In silence I close the, now half broken, door and sit on the floor next to you.

"I'm sorry Dougie," I say. "You're not stupid,"

"Whatever," you mumbled and wipe your face.

"I know that I was a complete arse about it," I say.

"I shouldn't have kissed you...It's my fault," you say. Putting the blame on yourself? I can't let you do that.

"No it's not your fault. I reacted pathetically," I reach over and put my arm around your shoulders.

"Then why did you?" you ask me.

"Because..." I stop. Can I really be honest with him? Would it be better just to lie?

"I know that you and Izzy broke up ages ago..." you say.

"What? When?" I ask. Nobody knows about that. I never told anybody. Not even my mum...

"Izzy rang me," you inform me.

"Oh..." I breathe. I want to tell you how I feel, I really do. But I can't. The thought of you knowing kills me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Dougie's POV**

I wipe my tears away only because I don't want you to see me cry. Even though you said I wasn't, I would just be stupid. Sometimes you can't undo some things, and this is one of those times. I never wanted to feel like this. It's as if I'm back at school. I'm the kid that is different, an easy target for bullies. And you are the perfect, popular kid who has nothing better to do than make my life miserable.

"Doug..." you say. I look at you through tear glazed eyes. You reach out and I shiver when you touch my face. You hands are so warm, unlike your heart. My plan was to bring you down but somehow you've managed to turn it around and drag me down instead. Fucking unbelievable! Of all the people I could have fallen in love with it had to be you, Mr I'm-the-best-and-so-in-love-with-myself. Damn you Harry Judd! Damn you and your charm! Damn you to hell and back!

"I'm..." you start but I've already cut you off.

"I hate you," the words just spill out. They were entirely the wrong words. I was supposed to say the complete opposite.

"Ok...I understand," you say. I look at you with my mouth slightly agape. It's ok?

"I didn't mean that!" I say quickly. "It wasn't supposed to come out like that..."

"Dougie, I understand...You're upset and mad that I hurt you. So it's reasonable that you take your anger out on me, the one who hurt you in the first place," you tell me. That is so not right! If I really do love you, which I do, then there is no way I should be mad at you, even if you did make me cry. This time it's not even planned...I kiss you. Again and again. I don't care anymore because when I kiss your lips it's like all of my troubles disappear. For such a masculine person your lips are so soft, your touch so gentle. It's like you are this delicate person and the masculinity is only a mask. I've never met anyone who is as gentle as you. Then I feel your hands on my chest and my heart beats faster. Can it really be? Are you already this confident?

Of course you're not...

I feel myself hurtling backwards a short distance before I collide with the wall.

* * *

**Harry's POV**

Argh! You kissed me again! I know it should be disgusting but I relish the taste of you, the way _you_ linger on my lips. But I can't let you know and it must stop before I slip up and let the truth out. So I push you away. And I honestly didn't mean for it to be that rough. I'm so sorry. I don't want to act like the jerk I am but _everything_ you do is driving me insane and I just can't take it. I stand in the doorway and look down at you.

"I'm sorry Dougie...I really am..." I whisper but I know you can hear me because of the way your lips turn up just the tiniest bit into a smile, a minute smile through fresh tears. Then I leave. I walk away from you even though my heart...and my head... scream at me to go back, to make sure you're alright. Each step I take is excruciatingly painful. I want to take you into my arms, hold you close, kiss your lips, whisper in your ear, but I can't. God forbid, if anyone found out about my true feelings they would be shocked, no, they would be horrified.

I get on the tour bus and wait. It only takes half an hour before everyone is ready to leave. Tom walks onto the bus, gives me a weak smile and pats my shoulder. I don't know what that was for but I accept his friendly gesture. Then the opposite comes along. Danny walks on, glares at me, and I swear if looks could kill I would have dropped dead by now. Tom has to physically drag him away. Now, I've always been the tough guy but I felt so petrified when Danny looked at me like that. Then there's you. We glanced at each other for a second before you flee out of my sight.


	6. Chapter 6

**Dougie's POV**

You're the first one to be dropped off. We are home for a week before we have to do more touring. You mumble your goodbye's and leave the bus. I watch you intently as your drag your stuff into the front yard then open the house. I want to go and ask you why you had to hurt me, but I can't move. The thought of even going near you makes my heart race. So we drive off as I watch you disappear inside the house. Next we drop Danny off. He hugs me for what seems like hours. He tells me everything will be just fine, reminds me that if I need to talk all I have to do is ring him, no matter what time. Then he says goodbye to Tom and gets off the bus.

Finally Tom and I arrive home, well Tom's home that has become my temporary/permanent residence. We drag our stuff inside to be greeted by purring cats waiting for food. Giovanna comes out and gives us a big welcome back. I'm grateful that I have these two wonderful people otherwise I'd probably be sitting in a miserable little apartment drinking some disgusting fluid or sorts and trying to drown out my sorrows. Instead I'm about to eat a hearty meal with a lovely glass of red wine. We will sit around the dinner table and talk and laugh. I will smile for 99.9% of the time. The .1% that I'm not smiling is when I'm alone, but that's not very often.

After a couple of hours we've already eaten dinner, had desert and sat in the living room playing monopoly before getting out a couple of guitars and having a hilarious sing along. Tom, been the Disney obsessed man he is, decided it would be fun to play 'guess the song from a Disney film'. This then lead to the three of us trying to decide on which Disney film to watch. After nearly an hour we decided on 'Up'. And of course we had a good old laugh during the film. But I couldn't help but feel a bit...I don't know...Jealous maybe? Because when I looked to the other end of the couch I saw Tom and Gi cuddling. Jealous might be the wrong term...I think I just want to be cuddled like that, by someone who loves me. When the movie finishes Tom and Gi say goodnight and go to bed. I wander up to my room and lie in bed but I can't get to sleep. You're on my mind, when I close my eyes I see your face.

* * *

**Harry's POV**

I've just been out to get some take out for dinner and I ended up sitting in a park, looking over a lake and eating. I walk through the front door. The first thing I see is a picture of you and I on the wall. It's one of the very first pictures I had taken with you. As I walk through the house I realise that you are everywhere and it seems it's my own fault. I make my way upstairs and into my bedroom. Sitting on the bed I stare at a picture of us which is on my bed side table. It was from a weekend holiday the four of us had taken. You're lying on the ground, I'm sitting beside you, and you're staring up at me with a huge smile on your face.

You are going to be the death of me. I can't stand been away from you but...I can't stand been near you. Tell me how that works? Tell me why I feel so many different emotions when I am with you? Tell me why I have to feel this way? You're in my every thought when I wake up! When I go to sleep! When I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner! Just leave me alone already!

Why am I screaming about you when I've created the problem? Fuck!

Dougie...Please...Just...Sort this out for me...


	7. Chapter 7

**Dougie's POV**

Whoa! That was the best night's sleep I've had in a while. Wonder why? Maybe because you weren't occupying every crevasse of my dreams? In fact you weren't present in any dreams I had. I get up and go down stairs to find Giovanna has made breakfast for us. With much appreciation I tuck into my food right away. Soon I find myself taking a long, hot shower before getting dressed. For some reason I have this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure I'll find out soon. I go back downstairs and linger around the kitchen talking to Gi, but the feeling is still there. I go and read the paper, play with the cats, get on the computer, watch a bit of TV, but it's still there. I go into the back yard and stare at the grass, go back inside and walk around the house. I bump into Tom on my way up the stairs and we have a brief chat. I end up sitting on my bed staring at the wall. I go to look at the time on the small clock on my bedside table but my eye catches a photo of you.

Now I know what I need to do. I get up, throw on a jacket and yell to the household that I'm out for a bit. There is a bitter wind today and I think it's a pretty bad idea to be walking because I'll most likely get a cold, but it doesn't matter. Been out in the open gives me time to think, though I've had plenty of time to think. I find that the openness spreads a different light on a situation. It's a bit of a walk, ok so it's nearly a twenty minute walk, but I don't mind. Really I don't, because when I arrive I know that it will be worth it. At least, I hope it is...

* * *

**Harry's POV**

I'm surprised to hear a knock at the door. I leave my cup of coffee on the coffee table and walk to the front door. Upon opening the door I see you. I'm doubly surprised because I never thought that you would want to see me again in a million years, let alone a day later. For some stupid reason I can't seem to talk and so we stand in the doorway looking at each other for a moment.

"Well if you're not going to let me in I'll let myself in," you say before squeezing past me and into the house. You kick your shoes off and make your way to the living room where you place yourself on the couch. I follow you but sit at the opposite end of the couch. I take my coffee but don't feel like drinking it any more.

"So here's the thing... I kissed you and then you called me stupid. You came and apologised, I kissed you and then you literally pushed me away," you say. I bite my bottom lip. "Now I come around here and you don't say a word...Can you see what's going to happen? I'm probably going to kiss you and then you're going to be mean, then I'll run away and cry, you'll come apologise and so the cycle starts again...It's never ending. And to be honest I kinda like it..."

"What?" I ask. I'm confused. You like it?

"It's obvious that either; a: you are oblivious to the fact that I'm in love with you or, b: you know that I'm in love with you but you hate that idea so you hurt me...But...Hurting me, trying to make me go away...It's just becoming an addiction for me," you say. I can't believe it! You're becoming addicted to me hurting you because you can't become addicted to my love for the obvious reason that I'm not giving you any love. This is madness.

* * *

**Dougie's POV**

You've been staring at me for a while now and I'm beginning to wonder if you're even alive. You haven't moved so...Maybe if I reach out and touch you to see if you're alive...And suddenly you've grabbed my wrist with a grasp so tight I thought my hand would drop off. It startles me a bit and I jump backwards but you pull me closer until I can feel your breath on my lips. Your eyes are shining with something like lust and anger but there's also a hint of weakness.

"Listen! I don't particularly care for your little games that you wanna play!" you growl. "You're silly little addiction won't get you anywhere!"

"Harry..." I say as I shake my head and let out a small chuckle. "I can read you like an open book,"

"Shut up!" you say, it's not an order, it's a threat. I don't know why but I feel that I can take you on.

"Or what? You're gonna call me names? Push me away?" I know that this will end badly, but I don't care, I love the pain you make me feel. "Babe, you need to realise that you're not the only one who can be mean!"

"Like you'd be able to do anything!" you criticise.

"Right..." I say softly before pulling away from you're hold and going into the bathroom. I go to the sink and grasp the edges before looking up into the mirror. Am I really about to try and do this? Do I really think I can? Will I be strong enough, not just physically but mentally?

The answer to all of these...Yes.

* * *

So, I've decided to give you a bit more to read since I may be busy for the next few days. And been busy means I don't get to update :( How are you enjoying the story so far? R&R much appreciated. xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Harry's POV**

You are in the bathroom for about ten minutes and for some crazy reason I start to think you've jumped out of the window and run away. But you make it obvious that your still here when you walk out. You slam the bathroom door. Before I know it you're in front of me and you're wearing this expression that I've never seen before.

"Dougie?" I ask because I'm a bit concerned. Then I realise that it's the first time I've spoken since you arrived.

"Shut up! I don't give a fuck what you want!" you say with such fierceness I grip the edge of the couch because it scares me. I've never seen you like this. "You think you can hurt me? Well, I've got news for you,"

"I didn't mean to hurt you," I say in my defence. I didn't, I really didn't! You walk over and bend down so we are level. You're so close I can feel your breath tickle my lips and I hope to God that you don't kiss me. But hoping doesn't help much because in seconds you're kissing me. But it's not a gentle kiss like the previous times. This is rough and I can tell you want domination of me. I move my hands up ready to push you away. Before I get a chance you step back. You're smirking. Then you grab my wrist and pull me up. I only get up because I'm taken off guard. Then you push me out of the living room. I have no idea what's going on so I stand there and go to ask you.

"Get in the fucking bedroom," you say in such a...Well, I guess you could say _seductive_, tone. I can't say anything and I make no attempt to move. So with all your force you push me and pull me until we end up in the bedroom.

* * *

**Dougie's POV**

I slam the door closed and am about to push you onto the bed when I notice something. I drop my hands to my sides and draw in a deep breath.

Everywhere there are pictures of me, of us, on the bedside table, on the wall, on the desk. Nowhere do I see a picture of Tom and Danny, or anybody else. What the hell is this? You've sat down on the edge of the bed and put your head in your hands. I can't say anything. What exactly am I supposed to say? 'Oh, nice shrine you've created Harry,'? Yeah, great conversation that'd be. I finally look to you when I hear you let out a choked back sob. I am quick to run over and sit next to you, wrapping my arms around your shoulders.

"Dougie...Please..." you mumbled and pull away from me. Suddenly I feel a difference towards you. First you call me stupid. Then you decided to physically hurt me. And now I figure out that you've lied to me. It's not anger that's bubbling up but it's pretty damn close. I stand up in front of you. You look up, you're eyes tell me you feel intimidated when I'm above you, and since you're so emotional. Well, that's going to work perfectly to my advantage. My previous intentions, which were lost for a brief moment, are now back. I push you down and crawl on top of you.

"You will be mine, and there is nothing you can do to stop it," I growl before claiming your lips. From now until the end of time your lips will be mine. I move my hands around your body, every single touch is confirmation I will have you. You're struggling but I'm feeling stronger. So I keep you pinned down. I'm starting to get curious as to why you haven't thrown me off yet but I know if I let my mind stray for just a second too long you will overcome me. So staying focused I ravage your body with my lips and hands. Then I rip your shirt from your chest. You gasp; you're eyes go wide, mouth falls open. I chuckle before dipping my head.

* * *

**Finally an update! Gah, I was sooo busy. I never thought I'd get to write more. But here is another chapter for you my lovelys. Enjoy! xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Harry's POV**

I can't believe what is happening. You are slowly taking over my body, and my mind. I want to push you away before you realise that I'm into this just as much as you are. But it seems that I've lost all control over my limbs because I can't lift my hand let alone my arm. Then you bite down on my nipple and I let out a gasp. I can feel you chuckle against my skin and it sends sparks through me. Then in a flash you're staring into my eyes and I feel like you can see right into my soul. I'm completely insane to think I can hide this forever. I know I should just give into these temptations. I should just lean up and kiss you, make you see that I want this too. So that's exactly what I do. I think you're taken back by my sudden course of action because you didn't kiss back at first. And then you started to kiss me back and I felt so at ease. But then you pull away.

"What?" I ask after a moment of watching you stare at me.

"Do you love me?" you ask. I take a moment to think. It's not that I don't love you. I just want to make sure that these feeling are for real and not just some faze I'm going through. The last thing I want to do is break your heart, even though I probably have with the way I've acted previously.

"I'm not going to say I love you, Dougie." I say. You instantly look broken hearted. "But I do have feelings for you..."

"Ok..." You say but you still look disappointed.

"But, for example...If we were to date I may discover that I love you," I say though it's more a suggestion.

"Really?" you squeak.

"Yep," I nod. You smile so wide I think it might just bust your face in half. And then we're kissing again.

* * *

**Dougie's POV**

I can't believe it! You pretty much just asked me out and now we're kissing again and you're hands are roaming around my body and ahh! If I were to die right now, I would be the happiest man alive. There is now a permanent smile on my face and nothing can wipe it off. I take a quick gasp of air and dive right back in to have another session of kissing your perfect lips.


	10. Chapter 10

**Harry's POV**

I wake to see your face. I smile. So this is what it feels like. No more hiding, no more lying and sneaking around. I'm liking it. I only shift slightly but it's enough to wake you. I'm a bit angry that I woke you though because you looked so peaceful, so beautiful. But you're still beautiful when you're awake.

"Good sleep?" I ask.

"Yep...And before the sleep wasn't bad either," you smile. My mind goes back to last night. We were so frantic to begin with and then it was as if we figured it out at the same time. We didn't need to rush into things. So I took you in my arms and held you, kissed you softly, whispered words of love into your ear. You smiled, kissed back, whispered back. Why we were whispering I have no idea. It's not like anybody would have heard us. Sometime during the early parts of the night Tom rang to make sure you were ok. Lying you told him that we were trying to figure things out, just talking. He believed you and soon we were back to our earlier doings. And doings it was. If we could have kept going we would have. But in the end we collapsed onto the bed, exhausted.

"Should we tell Tom and Danny?" you ask. Difficult question. I bite my lip and ponder on my answer, run a heap of scenarios through my mind.

"No," I finally say. "Not yet, anyway,"

"Ok," you nod then lean up and kiss me. It's not that I don't want to tell them, they are our best friends after all. It's just that I want to be sure that this is really going work. And judging by the effort you've put in to getting me to admit my true feelings, judging by the way you look at me, the way you kiss me and...Oh, god! The way you touch me...This is definitely going to work. And when I pull away from the kiss and look deep into your blue-grey eyes I begin to drown and it's the happiest moment of my life.

* * *

Hope that was enjoyable. Thanks for the positive comments. sending my love to you all. I'm currently working on a new story but I don't know if I will post it yet or when I'm finished.


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